Q: So people shouldn't be concerned about making a job change or finding employment with all the current news of recession?
A: Yes, the recession is not widely hitting people. It's the most overblown thing in the world. It's hitting the investment bankers, and they're all married to media people, and so the media's writing about it. The recession is not widespread.

I'd like to introduce her to my 401(k), my slashed project budgets and to a whole host of people walking unemployment lines nationwide.

Life must look good from her ivory tower.
 

So I had to reexamine my reasons for calling Henley my archenemy. I wouldn't want to see him dead, nor would I go out of my way to disparage him. However, I still don't like him. He can rock, but he can't roll with me (tired music cliche, but I like it too!)

• Never underestimate the creepiness of a grown man sitting on a coach shuttle bus on his way to a Disney World resort. I'm sure the other families were expecting kidnapping as I sat alone on my way to Disney All-Star resort (the gf was in the seats across the aisle from me).
• I've grown too accustomed to the high class hotels that my work allows me to stay. A regular room with two double beds seemed like the Hanoi Hilton for an evening. 
• Continuing the John McCain war experience, sitting in the wayback of a Nissan Pathfinder is no way to spend three hours. I've just now regaining feeling in my legs. 
• I was on the beach on North Captiva Island enjoying the waves lapping upon the shore. . . at first. I placed my cell phone at what I believed was a reasonable distance to ensure that water wouldn't endanger its continued existence. Silly me, you can't beat Mother Nature. A wave the shape of a middle finger crashed upon the log that held my phone and sucked it into the surf. I screamed like my baby had been taken by a dingo and ran to cradle it in my arms once more. Thankfully there was no damage to the phone or its operations. I guess I just needed a reminder that cell phones aren't necessary on vacation.
• Vacationing on a remote island is the only way to relax. Add a hammock chair and you have bliss. 
• Floriday has waaaaaaay too many confederate flags waving for my liking. Is it too late to give it back to Spain? 

Take that Phelps!

Next up on NBC, Blanche attempts to convince Michael Phelps join her in a hot tub to demonstrate her breast stroke. Old horny ladies have never been funnier! Tonight on the Golden Girls.

 As I prepared for a weekend work trip to Boston, I worried that Mickey would take the opportunity to officially move in while I was out. I’m talking a U-Haul van parked outside with all his rat relatives and friends helping him move in. Maybe he would bribe them with the promise of pizza and beer, I couldn’t be sure.

But to what appears to my wondering eyes when I arrive at home? Death in all its magnificent glory. I peeked into the backyard and the monolithic black box of termination held in its wiry grasp my arch-villain. I won’t go into specifics on size or time of death, but the thing was freaking huge.

Success, once again, goes to the human. Rats may be quite capable of surviving in numerous environments, but they stand no chance against a determined foe. Now, I just hope there is no retribution for murder.

I work in a 22-story building, specifically on the 11th floor. There is one bank of six elevators that service the building. At any given time, only three to four of those elevators are working. I don't know what that is, maybe this is the building's way of greening up employee transportation. 

So most times I'm stuck in a crowded elevator with rejects from Land of Misfit Toys. I'm as superficial as the next guy, and to say that I want only good-looking people in my vincinity is an understatement. I don't want to see the Pakistani guy with a glaringly obvious hairpiece or the mailroom worker with the beer gut and overwhelming scoliosis in the same building as me, let alone same five square feet. There are some attractive people in the building, and they stick out like a diamond in a sea of coal. 

I feel that we have a bond. We all understand the conditions under which we work, even though none of us work in the same office. There are usually knowing nods, secret glances that seem to say "Can you believe this mouthbreather next to me?"

But I'm getting away from the purpose of this post. And I just realized how much work I have to do today, so we'll have to pick this up at another time.

In summation, enjoy my vanity.